mAffia tErritOry...u hit Us, wE hit U !!!

2009-12-31T21:44:00.002+08:00

Can we fast-forward to go down on me ?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along becoz i love ur face
And i'll admire ur expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-11-13T19:05:00.004+08:00

people are simply unbelievable, no matter how hard u try to understand them, they simply make it look so3 impossible !!! The end result always seems the same even though u tried changing urself !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-11-10T18:51:00.002+08:00

Good things and happiness simply doesn't go well with me it seems....well, at least they last for a while though....but i never seem to know the answer as to IF there would be a chance for it to be permanent....if there's one thing i've found outfor the last few years, it seems that alot and i mean ALOT has changed since that devastating life-altering incident....as people would and have been saying, i've got nobody but myself to blame....hmm, but i beg to differ.....but it seems quite obvious that even though i've tried, i've been unable to grasp back that confidence-oozing ME back and yeah, i have struggled to cope with inferiority all the time......haiz, guess thats whats gonna kill me pretty soon :(
How i wish i had a helping hand...haha, maybe yet another imagination....

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-10-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

i keep trying, but;
the words end up voiceless;
and my face puts on a fake smile;
such a pity to wear a mask;
in the end, just clinging onto the hope of a turn of events;

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-08-17T17:50:00.002+08:00

A SPECIAL DEDICATION:

I totally forgot that my blog still existed till a kind soul dropped a message in my ears reminding me to update my rather dusty blog page.....and there I was sitting and actually considering to re-attempt at blogging....but guess what !!!

That very same kind soul had actually closed down her own blog for undisclosed reasons....haiz, what an irony !!! Guess i'm just gonna continue to allow the cobwebs to settle down yet again on my blog....adioz

(ps: thz eh kind soul ;p)

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-05-14T16:41:00.004+08:00

It is rather surprising to find out that a person can completely change into someone new in a matter of a single week....the worst part is that you never know what caused such a drastic change....haiz....the pinch felt is so painful because the person you became so fond of is nowhere to be found and you find yourself in a free-fall with no one to turn to !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-05-13T22:30:00.005+08:00

All i wanted and needed was to see your warm smile so that i can take my mind off my recent problems....but boy did you surprise me.....that was the most painful cold-shoulder i've ever received....a firm reality check perhaps !!!
(ps: take care always !)

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-05-12T18:25:00.002+08:00

" Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor, where were you ? where were you ?

But in the end everyone ends up alone

losing her, the only one who's ever known

Who i am, who i'm not and who i wanna be

No way to know how long she will be next to me "

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-01-12T08:04:00.002+08:00

Back in camp today for one final day before going on a long term medical leave....got loads of stuff to finish up and show my IC some of the important chores to carry out daily while i'm gone....haiz....simply can't believe that the day that i have been dreading is here so quickly....yeah....gonna have an op yet again tomorrow....well, this has kinda been a routine in my life since that horrific life-altering day....damn !!! I genuinely hope that all this will come to an indefinite end as soon as possible....so, this could be my final post in quite a long time :(

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-01-09T23:54:00.001+08:00

Well...1 whole month simply flew by quickly....my buddy's return here finally ended and he had to fly back abroad today....take care bro and have a pleasant trip....all the guys hope to see you soon dude....

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-01-04T18:23:00.003+08:00

What better way to kick-start and usher in a new season than an emphatic victory....yeah, the ELKs put out a near flawless performance to come out comfortable 5-2 victors over a rather experienced outfit....it was all the more special as it had taken the ELKs a whopping 4 whole months to finally set foot on the pitch again....and the performance was as if we had been playing week-in and week-out and never been away....such was the efficiency and teamwork of the group....kudos guys !! Well, we should not let this get over our heads and instead garner this moment and embrace it for a succesful 2009 !!! :)

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2009-01-01T00:37:00.001+08:00

Stepping in to the new year seems to be a rather clueless venture for me....hmm...wonder what challenges lie ahead of me this time round though ??? Well...for one, the past year has not been an ideal one either....full of 'saikangs' and more downs than ups...

Best of all, i'm not one who is good at keeping up to my new year resolutions...hmm, that's no surprise i guess...haha...aniwaez, one main aim of mine for this year is to get back to full fitness...yeah, sounds kinda weird but i've definitely been on the decline since my unexpected tragedy a few years back...thus, my new year resolution is to get back to the peak...yay !! :)

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-12-29T20:55:00.003+08:00

These past few days have been really hectic and they have been simply soul-crushing indeed...well its no due part to the fact that there's only 2 of us left in my department at camp for a huge chunk of december and heading towards the 'new year'...haiz...and the workload doesn't seem to be diminishing either...whereas, the tasks at hand keep piling up in abundance instead...as usual, there simply ain't no one to hear our almighty plight to give us some respite...thus, without any other alternative, we have to just 'suck thumb' and get on with the jobs in hand...sad2 life of mine...arGghh !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-12-26T19:19:00.001+08:00

"All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right"

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-12-25T20:39:00.006+08:00

Went to catch 'Twilight' last nite...awesome movie !!! Ended up counting down Xmas with strangers on the street...and yeah, thanks for making my day :)

" I can't get your smile out of my mind
I can't get you out of my mind
I think about your eyes all the time
You're beautiful, but you don't even try
You don't even, don't even try
Modesty is just so hard to find

I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find !!! "

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-12-20T19:15:00.031+08:00

It felt so good to finally be back home...after a lengthy and energy-sapping bus ride, all that i craved for was to cuddle in my cosy bed (FYI: the estimated duration of the bus journey was to be 13 hours from Hatyai-Singapore, but due to a thunderstorm, we were delayed a further 2 hours...thus, time of arrival was 5am)...but alas, that too was impossible as i had to immediatel set-off to work within hours of reaching singapore...haiz, what a sad2 life i'm having [ sobs2 :'( ]

Well, all-in-all i'd say that the trip was a fascinating experience for i had a first-hand experience of the beauty that lies beyond Singapore....it's simply amazing when u actually get to be part of someone else's culture and heritage...absoloutely mind-blowing i'd say...in the 1 week that i had spent at the city of Hatyai, i'd been exposed to the simple yet beautiful lifestyle of the Thai people and not forgetting their warm and humble reception towards their guests....it was absoloutely heartwarming to be in the company of such people though...

Besides the people, the monuments were eye-catching too....we were able to visit a few of their temples and some of them were simply breathtaking...what a sight !!!

We also visited the 'Songkhla Aquarium'...apparently, this is the most advanced vistior's attraction in the developing city...

Apart from all the sight-seeing, the other main agenda was the much anticipated shopping....well, things didn't turn out as i anticipated though...as i came in light with the horrific realisation of a woman's insatiable appettite for SHOPPING !!!! They would go hours [and i literally mean skipping mealtimes too !!] just to scour evry single shop without fail to ensure that they've not missed on any good stuff...haiz...just as the phrase goes "shop till u drop", i was truly down to my knees as soon as the end of the 2nd day...it was simply remarkable though the strength that these women possess when it comes down to their favourite past-time...aniways, i managed to drag myself along with them till the end and succeeded in buying some really nice stuffs for my friends...

Hence, that sums up my memorable trip and as predicted, it did turn out to be a blast...haha...

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-12-12T15:01:00.003+08:00

Finally i'm gonna be able to actually blog about something in aout a week's time...well, i'd be heading to 'Hatyai', a city in the southern province in Thailand....it'll be my very first venture beyond Malaysia...sounds pathetic rite...haha...well, i've heard a few good and bad things about the city, seems that evryone has a different opinion about the place though...hmm, i'm just hoping i'll have a blast thogh...gonna be boarding a coach from Larkin soon...so, hopefully i'll be back with new updates...haha....

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-12-11T18:30:00.000+08:00

Welcome back Gopal !!! haha...finally he's back in town...well its only for 1 month, but better than nothing yeah...haha...simply can't wait to meet up with him...i've got so many questions about his UK lifestyle...haha...

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-10-03T00:18:00.004+08:00

It's been a while yet again...well, kinda held up with so many things lately and yeah, another excuse just to appease me...haha...Aniwaez, i just couldn't find anything to blog about...the same old things are going on and on in a cycle in my dictated life though...hmm, yeah that's about it...well, kinda missing having the routine kickabouts with my Elk buddies though...come on guyz, where the hell are u'll ??? Let's get the ball rolling again !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-09-17T08:21:00.006+08:00

I guess i simply had to learn it the hard way though....

I sure am regretting for not letting go of my emotions when needed be....

Now i am slowly but surely suffocating in silence with despair....

Feeling so dejected and aimless now that the light which was illuminating my path all these years has dimmed out within a blink of an eye....

How i wish that there is a kind soul out there to embrace and enlighten me.... :'(

Simply to say, just to share a slice of my life !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-09-16T09:35:00.007+08:00

What a day it was yesterday...it turned out to be one of the saddest day in my entire life coz i had to bid farewell to my bEstEst2 buddy (sobzz !!) who flew off to UK to further his studies....well all i could do now is just wish him all the best...

However, it certainly seems to have taken its toll on me though...I'm still unable to come into grips with the fact that i won't be able to spend time nor see my best friend for a considerable period...haiz...I simply seem to be stuck in an arduous and complicated situation where i have no one to turn to or simply share my views with when i'm in a predicament :(

Anyways, i was glad that i was able to at least send him off at the airport and boy must i say that he sure does have a brave front....Even when his family members broke down, he still managed to keep smiling and even crack jokes at times...he sure is one of a kind and yeah i must really thank pe'ah for tagging along with me...it was her presence that actually made me control my emotions and i must say that i felt disappointed with myself that i was unable to do the same for her when she shed some tears...well, i tried my best to cheer her up by bringing her for supper and an all expenses paid tour around the NUS campus..hope it worked though...

Well, just wanna wish my buddy to have a safe and enjoyable trip and all the best for your studies bro....take care manz and hope to hear from you soon !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-08-16T10:37:00.009+08:00

Phew !!!! man was i glad to finally conclude my life as an effing trainee in the army....No longer will i be treated like a piece of crap, no more marching from point-to-point, no more singing aloud and best of all no more crew-cut hair !!

Yesterday was the final day of the 8 weeks at Stagmont and after getting on really well with my platoon mates, i had to endure yet another bitter-sweet farewell....haiz...it just feels weird when you find yourself deprived of the companionship that you used to have for a considerable time....well, thats life and i simply gotta step on the pedal and move ahead....

Anyway, on the last day of our course we had loads of admin stuff to settle and before everything ended, we had a course debrief session with the CO and guess what, i was the unlucky one to represent my platoon and present the debrief to the CO all because i was chosen as the best trainee for the course. Well, it certainly came as a surprise because i never expected it for i seriously didn't do anything special throughout the course other than being as normal as the rest of my buddies. Anyway, i am really glad that i attended the course as i made a handful of friends and surely hope to meet up with them soon.

The final event for the day was our CC giving out our dreadful posting orders. I have to say that i was definitely pleased to receive mine for i got to remain at Stagmont Camp and to top it off, it was 8-5....woOhoO!!!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-07-18T21:32:00.004+08:00

Omg....itz seriously been a freaking long2 time since i last logged in n blogged...well, i've been extremely busy of late and not surprisingly, all thanks to my NSF life....haiz...

I actually miss my normal life and not a single day has passed by without me yearning for some relieve from regimental duties and etc...sobs :'(

Well, as i found out the hard way....i actually got the most screwed up posting compared to my BMT mates....whilst they are enjoying their slack life at their respective camps, there i am day-in day-out in front of the computer learning about networking & military security protocols...haiz...

It has definitely taken its toll on me for i feel so down n helpless most of the times coz i'm simply not IT equipped enough to handle such a heavy responsibility that has been simply thrown onto me...my vocation has set out as in the simplest of mistakes by me would just land me in hot soup with my commanders and "DB" is a definite possibility...

There ain't anything more that can be done and i am trying to push myself through this tumultous phase of my life with intense insecurity....and yeah, i seriously hope to find some time for myself and get back in touch with my beloved frenz...

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-06-23T06:33:00.003+08:00

Today is the beginning of the next phase of my millitary life...haiz...its hard to accept it especially after a 2-week lay-off...but i just hope that the new unit would turn put to be abetter place than i am actually expecting it to be...well let's just wait and see....

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-06-20T22:49:00.004+08:00

Stagmont Camp, here i come...well, i just received my e-posting today...the next phase of my army life has set out for me to be a Signal Ops...haiz...whatever that is supposed to be...all i could do is just hope for the best...at least itz just 10 mins from my house...haha...

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-06-19T12:43:00.021+08:00

Some photos from the BBQ :

Mantot, Haikal & Me....

Hidayah with the guys....

Mantot fooling around with Bom...

Our very own Elvis...haha....

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-06-15T12:16:00.006+08:00

It was some day that i had yesterday....or should i say early today...haha...well, last night i finally managed to catch up with my long time pals from my previous PH outlet [Jalan Jelita]...it was such a great feeling for everyone to meet up together coz everyone seemed to be caught up in their lives that there was never any time...

So, as decided by the organizer, we all met up at the famous Arab Street for sheesha and we juz couldn't stop chatting as time simply flashed by....as the clock ticked to midnite, i received my first b'dae wishes n was given my first gift, a huge glass of delicious ice-cream...haha...well, as it turned out, this was only the beginning...

Soon after that, i had to leave them to head to another gathering...this time with my friends from Singapore Poly PH...thus, i met up with the rest of the guys and made my way to east coast park for a bbq to celebrate Mantot's burfdae...

But as it would turn out, he was not the only one celebrating...haha...my good friend Hidayah insisted on me n Haikal joining along with the cake-cutting...so as always, we had to give in to a girl's wish...hehe...

As i expected, the next thing i knew, my face was covered in cream and had poopers popped all around me...haha...but had a great time though...simply gotta thank them for sucha a memorable burfdae...and to top it all off, i received a gift which simply touched me merely due to the immense effort that was put in to prepare it...thz for the wonderful experience guyz !!!

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-06-10T08:03:00.001+08:00

"POC ohh !!! "

Yeah...those were the famous words coming out of everyone's mouth yesterday...haha...finally all the pain and suffering together with my time at pulau tekong came to an end...and man am i glad...

However, there were some great memories too...though we were Pes C recruits, we managed to overcome the odds and 'Raven Coy' defeated all the other supposedly fitter coys and came in 2nd in the Games Day...woOhoO !!!

Besides, throughout our ordeal in BMT, the whole platoon became a single cohesive unit and we sure did live by the motto One for all, all for one...well it's juz hard to forget the guys from RAVEN 2.....

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-05-31T17:24:00.004+08:00

Well, it seems an eternity since i last posted my blog...haiz...in fact, i have really2 darn busy for the past couple of weeks that i didn't even have any time for myself...man, this army life sure is taking a toll on me...

Anyway, no complains though coz all my hard work is finally about to pay off as i'm gonna pass out sonn...woohoo !!! haha...i'm just one week away from getting my long deserved break from my army life...haha...

Had my live range tis past week and i very nearly got my marksman...damn !! Just feel so letdown with myself...and yeah, how can i forget about the ELKS...we have been in such a horrible form which we have never experienced in our long and illustrious establishment...winless throughout the year...haiz...however, i'm sure we will get our breakthrough tomorrow...gd luck guyz !!! :)

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-05-11T12:38:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was my official first book out and man was i desperate for the day to finally come...it has been such a tumultous experience thus far in the early days of my army life...there have been too many ups and downs in such a short space of time....

First of all, there are simply quite a number of 'legongs' in my platoon and it simply makes it impossible to meet the standard set by my platoon commanders...and duly, we always get the stick from them and it just keeps crossing my mind how freaking unfair it is....

However, the worst thing that has thus far happened is when i really got damn2 sick in camp...it was so unexpected...i tried my best to keep myself healthy but i guess i just crumbled under the intense and sweltering heat...haiz...what a low point manz !!! and yeah...not forgetting that i've gotta book in 2nite...what a blow man...i won't be able to catch the final day of the EPL matches...damn !!! Just hope that the Red Devils can get the job done and condemn the Blues to dissapointment...

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-05-01T11:52:00.003+08:00

Pheew !!! Finally got the opportunity to get back ghome after a really2 long and challenging week...It was certainly very tough to try to adapt to my new surroundings...

The beginning few days were kinda rough but as the days ticked on, everything began to sail smoothly and i kinda began to love the military life...haha...Well, i juz gotta wait and see what beholds for me...hehe

...i think i'm moving but i'm going nowhere...

2008-04-25T08:23:00.005+08:00

The day is finally here today for the dreaded ferry ride to pulau tekong...haha...I will certainly miss all the daily stuffs that i've doing...But it's a challenge that i'm awaiting to grasp with open arms...hehe...So this is kinda my last entry till i book out...woohoo !!! Good luck to me...haha

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-04-23T22:03:00.004+08:00

"Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to"

- unknown

I have never been good with goodbyes and it was no different today either...haiz...it was my last day at work in Pizza Hut after a really2 long 4 1/2 years...haiz...

I was entangled in an emotional roller-coaster as i bid farewell to my friends and the surroundings that have been part of my daily routines for a considerable time...It was truly a bitter-sweet experience as one part of me said good riddance to putting my safety on the line whereas the other part of me just couldn't get to grips with the fact that i won't be able to have all the fun that i used to have...

However, all i needed was a reality check that live has to go on and that memories would always be memories...

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-04-21T18:26:00.011+08:00

It was truly a day of mixed emotions yesterday...Firstly, i received a phone call that one of my good friend's dad had just passed away...As a mark of respect, i visited him to send my regards and i was really taken aback by the family's condition and it truly made me feel how lucky i am...

However, i was able to slightly take my mind of that incident as me and my mate Gopal went to play a night match for his uncle's team "Shankar & Ow"...the match was held at some freaking ulu2 place called wellington road....and we kinda had to pass tons of industrial estates to get to the destination and our ride to and fro was quite a creepy one too for there were hardly any vehicles travelling on the road and there was nothing but countless numbers of trees...but somehow it was kinda fun ...haha...

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-04-20T16:17:00.010+08:00

I never quite realised that meeting your former teacher would be so fun till yesterday...haha...well i quite practically spent half a day with my former secondary school teacher, Ms Losiny, along with some of my former school mates...namely, Gopal, Sham & Devathas...

As planned earlier, we all met up at this restaurant at raffles place called "EATZ19"..apparently its a fusion makan place and frankly, the food was quite incredible...be it the classy presentation or the exquisite taste...kudos to the lady for choosing the place...

The last time we got to meet up was seriously a long time ago...so everyone kinda had loads to say about each other...haha...after mingling for a considerable time, we made our way over to marina square and chilled before rounding off the day withe dinner at "Kenny Rogers"...In whole, it was such a memorable experience and i really look forward to more of the same...haha

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-04-17T23:32:00.007+08:00

Well nothing much has actually been going on this past few days...Just the same all boring stuffs that i've been doing for the past few months....wasting my time at work...haiz...

The only highlight was last nite when i went over to my good pal, Gopal's place and we decided to go for our routine jog...I know it doesn't sound anything like a highlight...haha...

As usual, i tried to keep pace with him but as everyone would know, i failed...haha...But what do u expect ??? He is a freakin GUARDS man guys...All i could do was just tell myself that my time would come soon as his bragging continued into the nite...haiz...

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-04-14T18:41:00.015+08:00

Yeah, guess who's the new kid on the block...haha...i finally managed to complete the setup of my blog...it sort of took me a whole damn month to figure out how to blog...yeah i know it sounds seriously pathetic...haha...but i'm definitely over the moon that i've finally gotten off the mark...

Actually this is kinda my first real posting...haha...so i'm kinda lost for words here...

Well...yesterday was some day that i had...haha...it somehow felt as if everything was going as i wished...hehe...first of all Jorge Lorenzo won his maiden MotoGP race...woohoo !!!

It was such a breathtaking race and he definitely deserved the accolades...what a performance dude !!

But as usual there were those who just couldn't bear to watch him win..."so kerek sak", "win 1 race only celebrate as if become world champion"...well these were some of the comments i had to hear from my buddies when i went to work...haiz..because i was significantly outnumbered by them, i simply had to stomach in the insults hurled at my idol...but seriously, what's wrong in celebrating when you win ?? I just don't get it...

However, the best thing that happened yesterday was when 'Man Utd' defeated their greatest rivals 'Arsenal'...YippEe !!! What a joyous occassion it was...it was a kick-in-the-teeth for them and i'm sure they're gonna stutter to recover from this massive blow...haha...

So, that kinda sums up the day and i am so looking forward to tomorrow coz i'm finally getting my off day...i've got a pile of errands to run and i gotta really start packing my stuffs for my impending trip to the most dreaded off-shore island in singapore...haha

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-04-13T12:03:00.007+08:00

"Inside myself is a place where i live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up."

- Pearl Buck (1892-1973)

...i think i'm moving but i go nowhere...